April 19, 2024


Exercise makes you strong

Steve Ballmer’s Clippers malfunctioned like an old XBox

The Pelicans unplugged the Clippers’ controller.

The Pelicans unplugged the Clippers’ controller.
Picture: Getty Visuals

Guy, Steve Ballmer had to be sensation definitely good when he to start with bought Paul George and Kawhi Leonard. I indicate like “Steve Ballmer hyping up a pep rally” excellent or “Christmas morning offers as a child” good. He felt “Just bought a brand name new XBox and am barely in a position to drive house below the pace limit” excellent.

And, boy, is a new XBox entertaining. You perform it for a yr possibly. Halo and Gears of War are good, but just before you’re even ready to get utilized to A, B, X, Y over square, circle, triangle and X throughout a year of NCAA College Football, you get the purple ring of death, and there is very little you or Microsoft can do to revive you when shiny, utopia-promising toy.

Not like my dearly discarded XBox, the Clippers still have a chance to make excellent on the title that Leonard and George promised, but it is not taking place this calendar year. Ty Lue did anything he could to check out to get this group to the postseason, and nevertheless a glitch in the method nevertheless occurred, with a constructive COVID check forcing George to sit out what finished up becoming the team’s closing recreation of the year, a 105-101 loss to the Pelicans on Friday night.

(If you’re asking, indeed, I’m going to keep on milking this passable analogy for the full $375 that that piece of junk charge me. I’m nevertheless participating in my Playstation 3 even although it sounds like a jet motor for the reason that the Uncharted game titles are pleasurable to revisit and mainly because it nonetheless features.)

I question any LA followers dabbled in Clippers fandom the way I dabbled in shoddy Microsoft tech just after a prosperous stint with a storied franchise like Playstation or the Lakers, and how can you blame any one who was silly enough to try to flip-flop back to aged responsible? The Clippers as a franchise experience like a lifeless piece of technologies. If current counts as “storied history” they have it in spades.

I’ve finished an post on LA’s other NBA staff a couple distinct periods, and it could be that I’m not as superior of a writer as I feel I am, but no one particular seemed to at any time examine them. That claimed, the reason why I imagine no a single reads all those items is mainly because the Clippers do not evoke emotion a person way or the other.

It’s challenging discovering an angle when writing about the Clippers since they’re the Clippers. Donald Sterling bought booted from possession, and every single male on that workforce nevertheless performed basketball like they hated daily life. Introducing a couple hometown abilities didn’t endear the staff to LA fans. If just about anything it turned the two stars into traitors for not heading to the Lakers, and built the franchise marginally additional irritating.

Yeah, LeBron James and Anthony Davis had an all-time uncomfortable period this 12 months, but they received a title. The Lakers sucking unsurprisingly garnered more press than Lue overachieving without his greatest gamers.

You can contact the Clippers’ perform-in reduction against the Pelicans on Friday night a choke career if you want. They have been up three with 5 minutes still left. But the real skipped prospect — other than owning a Finals MVP and an All-NBA wing in their primes for 3 yrs with only an look in the Western Meeting Finals to exhibit for it — was Tuesday night time against Minnesota when George performed and the group nonetheless squandered a 10-stage fourth quarter guide and a playoff berth to crew whose best participant was in foul trouble the whole recreation.

We’re way previous the stage of expecting this group to contend for a title. They can increase all the All Stars, coaches, arenas, and supporters Microsoft can invest in, and the close consequence will be the exact same. Publicity arrives their way for the reason that they’re in LA, and they have legitimately good players. Basketball writers are obligated to talk about the Clippers the same way they’re required to talk about Brooklyn.

Nice occupation, fellas. Way to locate the two teams in important markets that evoke a collective “Meh.” It is like acquiring a Ferrari SUV. You can brag about remaining in LA or New York or a $300,000 motor vehicle all you want, but that does not make it awesome. At least Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving give intriguing or outlandish quotes.

I’m performed feigning enthusiasm for Clippers storylines. The only reason I wrote this was since I experienced an XBox analogy that will work on two levels, I have a beef with Microsoft, and it’s pleasurable to see billionaires’ pricey toys go up in flames.

Wait around, does “exhausted by a team’s abnormal blandness” qualify as an emotion? It does?! Very well, shit, I guess congratulations are in get for the Clippers — for the reason that the playoffs undoubtedly are not.